joke: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? one is made out of plastic and dangerous for kids, and the other holds grocieries

    joke: My Uncle Ned, all alone, met a gurl named Peggy. They fell in love, he promised her that he would give her diamonds, furs, and beautiful dresses. One day as they were walked down 5th Avenue in New York, they came upon a jewelery store under construction. Peggy lookd at my Uncle Ned and said,"You promised me jewlels." Uncle Ned proceeded to pick up a fallen brick. He threw it through the window, pulled out and gave her a diamond necklace. As they strolled own 5th Avenue, they came upon a fur shop. Peggy looked at Uncle Ned and said, "You promised me furs." Uncle Ned picked up another brick, threw it through the window, pulled out a mink and gave it to Peggy. Strolling dfown 5th Avenue again, they came upon a fashion store with beautiful dresses. Peggy said, "You promised me beautiful clothes." Uncle Ned replied, "What do you think I am made of bricks?"

First name: stephanie
    joke: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. because he was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A. becase he was sleeping on the monkeys head

First name: STEPHANIE
    joke: WHAT DOES OSAMA BIN LADEN, ADOLF HILTER AND HUSEIN HAVE IN COMMON? THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME MOTHER HER NAME IS ALLMISONRASSHOLE!

First name: Dominique
    joke: you so po I walked into your house and steped on a cigarret and you mama said who turn of the heat

First name: Dominique
    joke: your mama is so ugly she look at the doctor and he jumped out of the window

First Name: Brandon
    joke: how are girls and mermaids similar? they both look like girls... from the waist up, and they both smell like fish from the waist down.

First Name: George
    joke: A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her in tears, took pity on her, and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."

    Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded, yes. After all, what did she have to lose?

    That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a life-boat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

    Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "He's taking me to Europe, and he's screwing me."

    "He sure is, lady," said the Captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

First Name: Antoine
    joke: You so poor I came to your house and asked yo mama what for dinner she put her foot on the table and said corn.

First Name: Peter Schulze
    joke: What is the definition of self destruct? a lepper with parkinson's disease.

First Name: barnacle pete
    joke: How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

First Name: jasonL
    joke: I'm so fat that when i jump in the ocean it rain four days.

First Name: Meredith
    joke: What do a hooker and a bungee jumper have in common? They are both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

First Name: nancy
    joke: A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.
    He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
    One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.
    Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make theguy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.
    The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport, " he asked? "Fifteen bucks, " came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.
    When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as the drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

First Name:bernie
    joke: A man is at the bar one night and decides he should go outside for some fresh air due to the fact that he is extremely drunk. When he tries to stand up he falls on his face so he tries again and falls again. Finally he crawls home and sneeks into bed. In the morning the man's wife wakes him up and says, "you went drinking last night didn't you?" Realizing he was caught the man asks how she knew and the wife responds by saying, "you left your wheelchair at the bar again."

First Name: Nigel
    joke: my name is the joke.

First Name: Vile Malmort
    joke: Why did a member of the special cybernetics attack team cross the road? To get a bet shot at the chicken-bot

First Name: Luigi
    joke: So Mario and I are talking: M: I think i'm gonna marry Daisy. L: Daisy?!?! She's slept with every toadstool in the Mushroom Kingdom! M: The Mushroom Kingdom's not so big.

First Name: I don't know
    joke: So a monkey, a pirate, and a midget are applying for the same job, right, and after the pirate eats the monkey... the midget knifed him!

First Name: Lorenzo
    joke: what did the indian say to the bounty hunter? "I hear dat Renegade!"

First Name: the copper kid
    joke: *whistle* *whistle*, *whistle* *whistle*

First Name: R2D4
    joke: beep boop det op tang? wakka wakka zzzzzzthp!